The Perils of The Problematic
by Darling-Minnie
Summary: Cassie thought that maybe her new life in South Park,CO would have been better than she expected since the small town seemed so humble. Wait 'till she finds out all of the perils she gets into by just her first week when the fattest kid in class plots something diabolic and the muffled boy in the orange parka takes a liking in her. (re-edited)


**The New Problem.**

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman waited drastically by the bus stop. As usual, they all would expect Cartman to be talking some sort of bullshit idea.

"Hey guys, guess what?" Cartman asked, with his usual dumb grin.

"What now?" Kyle retorted, already annoyed.

"I'm having a party at my house for kids that are richer than Kenny, so that means Kenny isn't invited," Cartman pointed towards Kenny and laughed nasally, "Haha, you poor piece of shit can't come to my party!"

"Shuft the fufck up Cartman, you herfpes infefcted cunt!" Kenny yelled.

"Cartman, stop make fun of Kenny because he has less money than you," Stan crossed his arms.

"Hah! You just admitted Kenny is poor! See Kenny, even Stan thinks you're poor!"

"Fufck you Cartman, fucking unfgrateful difck wad."

"You're just jealous because you can't come to my party, asshole," Cartman waved Kenny off.

"What makes people want to come to your party, anyway?" Kyle asked.

"Well, there's going to be soda and chips, and my mom let us play the music really loudly," Cartman sounded as if that was so tremendous.

"Whatever, your mom probably allowed the music loud so you can't hear her be slutty upstairs," Stan rolled his eyes.

"My mom is not a slut, Stan!" Cartman yelled.

The bus came in and all the boys walked on board.

"Hey guys!" Cartman jumped onto the seat, overlooking everybody, "I'm having a party this Friday at my house, but only the richer kids can come."

"Oh my god..." Kyle shook his head.

…...

The whole class was talking loudly, no one even realized Mr. Garrison had walked in. He tried to calm them down but no one bothered to listen.

A knock came on the door. Mr. Garrison opened the door, revealing the new, bright, and quite neat looking girl. Everyone's laughter and conversations died down.

"New student?" Clyde said aloud.

"Okay class, now that I have your attention, we have a new student in the class! Everyone say hi to Cassandra Nichols," Mr. Garrison introduced the new blonde hair, blued eyed girl.

"Hello," The class said boredly.

"It's Cassie," She corrected the homosexual teacher..

"My mistake, Cassie. Go on and sit wherever you like."

Wendy, the class president and Stan's girlfriend, came up to Cassie. "Hello, I'm Wendy. Why don't you sit next to me?"

"Okay, thanks," Cassie accepted the offer. Cassie was used to being with new people, since she was 6 she's been moving all over Colorado.

When Cassie was seated, all of the girls surrounded her, especially Bebe and Red.

"So where are you from?" Bebe asked.

"I moved from Denver with my parents," Cassie answered.

"How come? Denver is pretty nice," Wendy said.

"Well, my dad is the CEO of 'Nick's toys' in Denver and in Colorado Springs so he's trying to expand the business," explained to the girls.

"Wow! How cool!" The girls cheered.

"Excuse us one moment..." Bebe said.

All of the girls huddled up together leaving Cassie sitting awkwardly.

"She seems pretty cool," Wendy said.

"And nice," Milly added.

"Well, we just met her so let's invite her to lunch to see what's she's like."

As they whispered and chatted to themselves, they finally came to a conclusion.

"So, Cassie, wanna sit with us at lunch?" Bebe asked.

"Sounds great," Cassie said cheerfully.

Meanwhile with the boys, they also ignored Mr. Garrison's lecture and talked about the new girl.

"So the new girl seems a bit cool," Kyle said.

"Yeah, I like her eyes." Butters said dreamily.

"I passed by her new dad's store yesterday! Dude! Do you know how much toys I could get? Shit loads!" Cartman got all excited. Of course, the selfish bastard was good at the only thing he basically new, taking advantage. "Oh, I gotta be friends with her. She could get me the new transformers and the new Iron Man action figure!"

"What makes you think she would like you, fat ass?" Kyle asked.

"Kyle stop calling me fat! And she would _looove_ me when I tell her she's on the VIP list for my party, Friday night, which Kenny is not invited to," Cartman coughed at the last part.

"Like she would be into some lame ass party of yours, anyway," Craig said.

"Oh fuck you, Craig," Cartman yelled. Craig just flicked him off.

"He-hey, g-guys. Maybe she's into-oooo.. into some jokes," Jimmy said.

"Yeah, or maybe she likes playing pretend or football," Butters suggested.

Kenny, who was ever so silent, could not keep his eyes off of the new girl. He found himself wiping a drool from his lips.

"Butters, you ass, she's a girl. She doesn't like football or anything boys do," Stan pointed out.

"Well then, what does she like to do?" Butters asked.

"We should all talk to her at recess," Stan said.

"Stan, get out you already have a girlfriend," Cartman inflicted.

"So what?"

The bell for lunch rang, and everyone fled the room into either their lockers or straight to the cafeteria.

Cassie followed the Girl Clique to their regular lunch table. Cassie waited for the girls to sit before her. "Cass, sit here next to me," Bebe patted the seat next to her. Cassie took it.

"So, I heard Eric Cartman is trying to have a party at his house, but everyone knows nobody is going," Red gossiped.

"Who's Eric Cartman?" Cassie asked.

Bebe pointed towards him in the line, "Over there, the fattest one of the four. Everyone thinks he's a complete asshole, though."

Cassie was shocked by how big the boy was compared to the others; her eyes slipped to the boy next to Cartman. He had an orange parka on and brown mitts. Kenny was already staring at Cassie, so he was taken back when their gaze met.

"And that boy next to him...?" Cassie whispered to Bebe.

"That's Kenny McCormick, the poorest kid in school," Bebe answered.

"He's kind of cute," Cassie smiled at him. Kenny quickly shuffled away into the line blushing.

"Yup, he ranked number 7 in the cutest guy list," one of the girls said.

"That list was fake anyway."

"But still, Kenny is sort of cute."

Wendy walked in and sat next to Cassie.

"Hey girls."

"Wendy, we should start making list's again," Red suggested.

"Why?" Wendy questioned.

"Because, one: we haven't made one in a long time. Two: Cassie should be a part of it. And Three: It was really fun," Bebe stated.

"I guess we could let Cassie be in..."

"Sounds fun," Cassie giggled.

"Okay, so what should we start off with first? Any suggestions?" Bebe pulled out a notebook.

"Best eyes?" Lola tried.

"We already did that one," Wendy said.

"Oh, how about who we think is the most mature guy?" Annie recommend.

"But see, guys are mature in different ways. Cassie what do you think?" Wendy looked at the girl's new friend.

"Uhm, maybe we could have a voting on who would be the best couple?" Cassie brainstormed.

"That's a good one, explain more."

"Well, we could have a list of guy's names that are not in a relationship, and girls that are not in a relationship. Then mix random pairs together to see who would look best together," Cassie said, and all of the girls nodded and clapped.

"But how do the votes work?" Wendy asked.

"Well if its too much, we could narrow it down to only our class. Then to the top five best fitting couple."

"Maybe we could have a winner in this, like first, second, and third place. And first place would get a romantic dinner at that really fancy place in the mall." Heidi suggested.

"But only have just us girls vote? Maybe if we could get the whole class to vote on the couples, then it would be fair," Wendy said.

"How do we do that during class?" Annie asked.

"Uhm, we could have a get together at my house? My parents are leaving me home on Friday and my servants won't care what I do," Cassie insisted.

"It's settled then, we make the pairs, sum it down ourselves, then let the class decide on Friday," Bebe pointed at Milly, "Milly, go print out pictures of the single guys and girls in our class. Annie, start making invitations to Cassie's house on Friday."

"Yes, Ma'am," The two replied.

"The rest of the girls, start putting couples together."

….

On the play ground, all the popular girls surrounded a folder with all of the pics of boys and girls.

"First off, lets take the couples away," Lola said. They took out a picture of Stan and Wendy.

"Okay, lets start," The girls all placed pics together and nodded or shook their head. They all bickered and agreed, placing pics of Clyde and Red, or Red and Token, Kenny and Milly, Cassie and Craig. All of those couples never seemed to go.

As the girls shuffled with the pictures, the boys weren't really paying attention to their game.

"What are the girls hogging Cassie for? Can't they see some other people want to talk to her, too?" Cartman whined.

"Cartman, you barely like anyone but yourself, why so interested in Cassie now?" Kyle debated with the fat ass.

"Kyle, have you heard of her family? They like own that toy new store opening up. And if anyone is going to be her best friend, it's going to be me."

"Cartman, fuck off. Is that all your good for is using people?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Guys, guys!" Butters toddled towards the boys and panted.

"What butters?" Stan asked.

"The girls have officially made Cassie one of them, and they're now making a new list!" He told them all.

"A new list? For what?"

"Something about best looking couples," Butters explained.

"They're shipping us now?" Stan asked unbelievably.

"What's shipping?" Kyle asked.

"It's when someone thinks two people would look good as a couple. My sister talks about it all the time."

"Well, winner gets a really fancy date," Butters said.

"Fancy date?" Kenny questioned. Kenny stared at the new girl once again, daydreaming of them on a date.

The girls had finally chosen the top five.

"Annie, did you make the invites?" Bebe asked.

"Yes, they're all right here," She had them in a gift bag

"How did you get them so fast?" Cassie asked.

"Oh, I printed them out then just had the second graders put them in envelopes," Annie explained. "Cassie, do you want to pass them out, it _is_ at your house?" Annie asked.

"Well, I don't really know anyone..." Cassie wavered, looking around at everyone.

"I'll help you," Wendy pulled on Cassie's hand and started to hand them out.

The two girls handed out the invites to everyone in their class, and making small talk with the boys they approached. Only one was left out because the other girls decided they did not want him to come. Cassie felt bad for the outcast, but didn't say anything.

After Cassie had handed out a lot of invitations, she got the hang of speaking to people, especially the ones she specifically knows.

Wendy and Cassie approached Craig and Token.

"Here you two go," Cassie handed them each an invite.

"What's this for?" Craig asked, tearing the envelope open.

"It's an invite to my house on Friday, it explains everything on there," Cassie smiled.

"Hey, thanks," Token smiled at her as well, "I guess I won't go to Cartman's party."

Wendy then made her way to her boyfriend's group, who were all playing a game of catch.

"Hey, Stan," Wendy smiled.

"Hey, Wendy," He said back, then turning to Cassie, "you're the new girl!"

Kenny's eyes widened then he pulled the strings of his hood to hide his face more.

"Cassie, right?" Kyle smiled at her. Cartman dropped the ball and ran to them.

"Yup. I have an invitation to my house on Friday for you guys," Cassie handed out the last 3 invites.

"One to Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh..." The two smiled at the envelope, "and last but not least Kenny McCormick," Cassie smiled at him.

Kenny took the invite and opened it slowly. Inside it read:

_Cassie's house get together! (Party)_

_Come to Cassie's house on Friday right after school. _

_There will be snacks, drinks, chocolate fountain, music, party games, a swimming pool, and also the final voting for the "best pair". So don't miss out on the fun!_

_Only those with present invitations can come in. Come dressed as you please._

_Xx. Cassie_

"Hey, what the fuck?" Cartman looked at Cassie's empty hands.

"Those are all the last invites," She said.

"What the fucking shit?! I'm having a party at my house on Friday, too!" Cartman yelled.

"So am I," Cassie crossed her arms. "And you weren't invited."

"No, no, no. There are two problems with this. One: I didn't get an invitation. Two: You need to move your party. If you move your party date and give me an invitation, everything will be fine," Cartman tried to suggest.

"How about no to each of your offer?" Cassie frowned. She had just met Cartman and she did not seem to like him one bit.

"No?" Cartman was taken back. "Bitch, do you know who you are talking to?"

Cassie was getting frustrated with Eric Cartman as he went on about his so called 'superior' self. She had absolutely no patience with guys like him. He then started talking about how the two could have such a good time together, but all seemed to sum down to him just having new toys for her dad's toy store.

"So, you're trying to be my friend so I can give you free toys?" She asked. Cartman tried not to ruin his plans, but ended up going along.

"If you come to my party instead, I will put you on the VIP list. And even give you an extra choice of soda. Just at least give me some toys."

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Just read my lips. N-O. No. You weren't invited and I'm not making any changes to anything that have already been done. You can try to do anything but I have made my decisions. So no free toys for you."

Cartman faced the boys, "You guys are going to my party instead, right?" He tried to give them puppy eyes.

"No way, dude. A swimming pool?" Stan looked Cartman. "I'm already going to get my swim trunks."

"Yeah! I'm so going to Cassie's party," Kyle said. Cassie smiled at the boys.

Cartman turned to Kenny, "Keeennyyy, you can come to my party now. You're going to my party instead, right?"

"No fufcking way man. I'm going to Cassie's party, not your lame ass piece of shit," Kenny told Cartman.

"So no one is coming?!" Cartman screamed.

"Well, it looks like no one was going to go anyway. Maybe the VIP list won't be so great with you there and all of your out-of-date toys," Cassie brushed off Cartman then waved by at the boys. "I hope you guys can come," She then left to the girls.

As Cartman watched the girl walk away, he stood there shocked, "Fucking bitch."

"See you later Stan," Wendy said.

"Wendy!" Cartman begged at the black haired girl, "You gotta get me into the party!"

"No way, I wouldn't want you to come at all," Wendy pushed the boy away and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek, then left.

"Wahhhhhh!" Cartman screamed in frustration.

"Sucks to suck, fat ass," Kenny laughed.

….


End file.
